landcestor

as a child of diaspora, my parents fleeing the war in Kosovo but my mom originally coming from Kercova, Macedonia, a land still under occupation; land is an important theme in my work and being. as an herbalist, farmer, land tender I often find myself missing the land of my ancestors. I think of the orchard my great great grandfather planted or the roses my great grandmother pruned often. growing up in America on stolen land I find myself in this liminal space, being on occupied land that has experienced violence after fleeing violence.

I try to work out how to be in relationship with the ancestors of the land of my people and also be in relationship with the ancestors of the land I am on. How do I honor both? How do I live in reciprocity? I leave gifts for the land and tend to dying trees, I ask the land for permission but still it will be occupied land.

I don’t have answers but I am trying to reconcile with feeling. I chose to hang these paintings in a piece of land I have been visiting for 3 years. This part of the hike I refer to as the portal, the dying pine forest that looks planted by settlers. There are pieces of stone from old homes and there is an anger in the energy of the land. I felt this land reject me many times, I would leave when it wanted to be alone. But I always came back gently offering gifts, condolences and offerings for the spirits of the land. With time I have developed a relationship of giving to this land. And I finally feel we are in peace.

i always feel a sense of soothing when i see plants that grow in the Balkans here in the Catskills; plants like rose, mugwort, stinging nettle. and also grateful for the native plants that i get to meet.

this painting series is just me learning to be on land, learning to give to the landcestors and making friends with spirits. it is also a processing of grief of diaspora.